Cute Orange Flying Butterfly The Roughest Road Often Leads To The Top
The Roughest Road Often Leads To The Top
I’m not hurting myself.
I’m trying to hurt
The monster inside myself.


Does anyone know how to deal with a dissociative episode

They say I’m suicidal, but I very much want to live. I just don’t always know how to do that.
- Ssomc (via ssomc)


Nothing is real
None of the good things
None of the bad
And nothing in-between

Everything optical is not
Whatever is paradise is not
Emotions are mind tricks

Thoughts are transcendent games —
Pain gives us the surface
Of what makes us believe
That we are existential:

Blood that falls down wrists, to thighs,
The tips of toes, rusts through veins
And drips through the cracks
of wooden floors and then
Nothing, nothing, nothing…

We are an illusion of the mind
We are scapegoats
We are burdens
We are faces lost
Behind our winter jackets
And our cups of tea
Which could be vinegar
If we said it was so

And we are are warriors
That lead a fight ultimately
To be defeated

And we will never be found
Because our bodies will rot to flowers
Before we ever see any of it ourselves

- Brittany Hottmann, 365daysofdarkness (via 365daysofdarkness)


dissociating all day

At night, I keep fending off invisible forces from a past I know can’t visit me today. It’s not real anymore but unfortunately, rationalism doesn’t help me when I’m alone, scared shitless with flashbacks of things I wished I couldn’t recall with such exquisite finesse.
- Ssomc (via ssomc)


When someone asks you why you did something that happened while you were dissociated

In those few seconds when I snap back into reality, everything just feels so terrifyingly foreign: familiar faces of strangers just watching and treating me as one of their own, unaware that I’m just an imposter wearing a familiar skin.
- Ghost (via quotesofaghost)

  • DID: Let's play a game called, "How Many Times Can You Switch in One Day"!
  • Me: How about no.
  • DID: Too bad!